Believe in your Dreams...that means YOU

Apparently the Barefoot Jewel herself is a hypocrite and full of self sabotaging spit and vinegar.  She tells everybody to believe in their own dreams, she thinks she means it, but apparently she does not.  She can talk the talk, but not walk the walk.  When push comes to shove, and there is actually a chance to do what she wants and maybe, just maybe have it be positive and work out, she chokes, panics, freezes, doubts and generally drops the ball. 

she retreats back into her "i should get a real job to make money" safety zone, even though she has no interest in doing that and the thought makes her want to die.  At least it would be a safe place to go. She used to dream about being home all day when she was trapped in cubicle-ville, thinking of all the wonderful things she would do when she was free.  However, when given the chance to have unlimited time at home, she freezes and curls up in a ball, panicking and feeling guilty that she isn't at a job working.  instead of writing wonderful stories or creating art or gardening, she scans the help wanted ads over and over again for jobs she might qualify for but doesn't bother applying for.  If she finds one that might be a good fit, she feels comforted by the thought that maybe, if she applied for it, she would get an interview and maybe they would hire her, even though it isn't what she really wants. 

what she really wants is to wake up every morning delighted with the fact that she was brave enough to take all of the steps she has taken so far that led to where she is now.  she wants to wake up with enthusiasm and excitement and start her day enjoying a healthy green smoothie with Donald. Then have a cup of coffee sitting outside writing in her journal, enjoying nature. A quick session of yoga or meditation would follow.  Late morning would bring some writing or crafting, or work on whatever project she had going at the time.  A few hours later, it would be time for a healthy lunch shared with Donald, who is happily doing his own thing.  More art or writing or other such project until dinner time, then preparing a healthy dinner.  She would go outside in the yard for awhile after the sun goes down to enjoy nature again, and to do some form of exercise, a walk, yoga, belly dancing, Wii Zumba or DDR maybe.  The evening would be for sharing time with Donald and the pets.  

the only thing stopping her from doing these things is herself.   her doubts, her lack of belief in herself, her fear of failure, her laziness and expert procrastination techniques.  she is also the only one who can stop herself from stopping herself.....